What moves me?
An uncoordinated stream of thoughts, voices, desires, dream, fantasies, plans and expectations is flooding my mind. It’s hard for me to answer such questions, since I tend to do things thoroughly. I could, for example, tell you what literally makes me move – think of sports or travelling; trekking by bike or on foot. I could also dig a little deeper and ask my self what my motive is to move at all or what makes me move in life. And that’s the moment I get stuck and have to stop writing. A tiny shaky voice inside my head says I shouldn’t want to start that at all. I am going to try to though, knowing that I will always be adjusting my answer(s) as long as I’m alive.
What makes you move or what inspires you?
Those are two different questions, but is the answer to them different as well? What inspires me to move? The longer I’m thinking of it, the harder it gets to find an answer. “What makes you move?” was the question beneath SlimFysio‘s logo. For months and months I drove around in a car with a SlimFysio sticker on it, without even reflecting that question. It is a catchy and motivating one, but only made me overthink it when I ended up at home with a burnout and stopped moving at all.
I am moved by the belief that honesty is the best policy. That might make me desperately naive and vulnerable, but I would like to stick to that belief. I would like to live my life that way. Am I an idealist? An opportunist? Maybe even an optimist? Could be, although I actually don’t know what that would mean.
I strive for / I hope / I believe / I expect to contribute something and be meaningful if I live my life consciously, sincerely and in honesty. What? That could be anything. In that case it wouldn’t matter what I do, but to me, it’s about how I do it.
Let’s be honest, I am not always a ray of sunshine. I am regularly guided by fear, frustrations and letdowns, which make my view on the world a bit bitter and cynical. I despise it and I can feel so powerless and lost that I’d rather curl up in my bed and only come out when life is good again.
High highs and low lows are taking turns. And sometimes I’m experiencing highs and lows at the same time. It’s quite reassuring that everything will always be moving, that life changes and always will be changing too. Emotions, pain, sorrow, but euphoria, love and happiness too, are continuously in motion, always coming and going.
“What makes you move?” is my motivation to get going, to ask others this question too. What makes other people move? Ruby wrote a blog about expectations just last week. She expects that everything will be alright eventually. Everything. Life. But what is her motive? Is it her optimistic way of life? Maybe her expectations regarding peace and freedom, or a rock-rooted convinction? I’ll ask her :).
Translated by Daphne Liedekerken